Friday, January 8, 2016

Hello 2016

As I wave goodbye to 2015, I open my arms wide to receive 2016 and all that it has to offer. My health hasn't been the best in the last quarter of 2015 but I still have much to be grateful for in the form in supportive friends and family.

My wishes for 2016 is to simply pick up where I left of in 2015 and bring some important projects to and ending. I also want to settle into myself as a woman, taking full responsibility for my failures, triumphs and goals.

To live a life full of love, generosity and grace; to leave behind a smile and a warm feeling wherever I go.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015


I've spent years looking to find myself and constantly getting lost. I wandered around in circles, climbing down into pits of despair and climbing back out to soaring highs of distraction. I never managed to find her, and I still haven't.

I don't know if I should keep looking. The woman in the mirror seems happier than I ever remember being before but sometimes, just sometimes, the depth of her sadness seems a hundred times deeper than ever.

I want to find a solid identity but I am beginning to think that I don't have one. I am just a mass of contradictions, that occasionally can form coherent sentences. With effort and by enforced routines, I can be almost normal and function seamlessly for a while but before long everything crumbles back into the nothingness and I scramble to find the pieces that suddenly are gone again.

I don't often feel alone in the world, but I do feel aimless. Drifting along, with no destination, far too worried and caught up in the details to notice the big picture. Everyone says there is a big picture that you see if you just take the time to relax. Just breathe and sit in the sunshine, smell the rose etc. I just end up feeling tenser and tightly wound as the second tick by.

Somehow I even fail at doing nothing.

Perhaps what I am searching for doesn't exist. Maybe I am just lost and that is who I am. A constantly changing, newer me that is ethereal and so can never be contained. As I searched for meaning, and foundation, I simply frustrated myself.

After all, you simply can't find something that isn't there.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

FO: My First Cushion

I decided to make a cushion to be part of my bedding. I was already attempting to make a throw for use on colder nights, so I elected to use the same yarn for the pillow as well. After searching around on Ravelry I settled on using this cushion pattern to make a cover for a 16 x 16 pillow insert. I used four different colours of Relax yarn from Numei that I bought years ago, perhaps sometime in 2011 or so, so it has some age. The yarn is now discontinued sadly because now that I have begun working with it, it has lived up to my expectations of it.

The pattern was also the first time I did a provisional cast on, did button holes and also sewed on buttons so I gained some new skills as well which is always great.

Admittedly this pattern frustrated me near the end and as I was sewing on the buttons I vowed to never again make this pattern. By the time it was done however, I was rethinking that because I am very happy with how it turn out. Isn't that the way things go?

Here it is:

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Beanie Boasting

Another post about my knitting exploits. This was made using the same yarn as my sweater and the pattern is amptly called Basic Beanie.

I detested doing the k2, p2 ribbing for 4 inches but in the end I like how it looked. I think my 'miles of St. St.' sweater spoiled me.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

My Very First Sweater

This accomplishment deserves a post indeed. I used the Sweet Harlequin pattern by Drops, but I left out the lace charts and did ribbing instead of garter edging.

I used 4 colours of Grant-Creek Yarn Semi Solids.

I originally started it last year in Nov but set it aside until May this year to work on other things. So glad I turned my full attention to it and got it completed because I love it!

Friday, May 8, 2015

BBQ Chicken and Crayola

I did my chicken in the crock pot yesterday and after 4 hours on Low setting it turned out absolutely perfectly! I really do love to cook meat in my crockpot!

I did some work yesterday also in terms of cleaning up my Creation Station (my desk where I colour, knit, study and write) and in the process I found some Crayola pencil crayons which I happily added to my steadily growing art stash.

I plan to buy a set on Monday as  reward for keeping up my habit of brushing my teeth every night. It may seem basic, but a lot of really simple habits eluded me for years. By starting small and being consistent I have engineered a more routine life and it is wonderful!

Now for some pictures of my colouring: