30 Days of November, Day 22: Of Self-Love
I used to struggle a lot with what really loving yourself meant and I didn't truly understand why it has become such a huge deal in the self-help movement. I think that love is a topic that human beings talk about an awful lot, from young love to heart break, every on has an opinion on what it is and isn't.
For me loving someone is when you genuinely care about their well-being, and thus consider their happiness to be an important thing. You treat them well, even when they don't 'deserve' it because you want the best for them. You are honest with them, even if it may hurt their ego a bit, because you want to see them push pass the difficulties they are facing to really thrive. It is not selfish, it is not seasonal and it is not conditional.
Even as I say this, I know that no one can truly love another person unconditionally. As humans we are innately flawed, sinful and fickle; we can't always put other people's wants or even their needs ahead of ourselves all the time. Frictions in relationships if left untended can lead to resentment and bitterness which can easily cloud out love.
I believe much of these same principles apply when you look at Self-love. Much of our life is lived to please ourselves. Even when we do things for other people, we often have a motive that is rooted in our own sense of duty, need for fulfillment or wish to engender a feeling of gratitude in others.
The idea that people lack self-love because they feel like they spent their life living for other people is a false narrative. In many cases, the persons were trading in social currency of a different sort. That feeling of being needed or essential in the lives of our family and friends was more important to them at the time than having an honest relationship with self.
Self-love is not just wanting to do what you want. It is realizing that often we get caught up in the short term future, and forget to tend to the now and the long term future. Taking time to assess how our body is feeling, and taking care of our health whether spiritually, physically or mentally is the foundation of expressing love to yourself.
When you take time to assess how your are doing, you may realize that what you thought you wanted is not what you truly need to do. Just breathing, meditating and praying can slow you down enough that you can clearly see that your current trajectory is out of alignment with your inner compass.
Loving yourself is not selfish because human beings need genuine relationships with other people to thrive. I find that when you are taking care of yourself, that you can better take care of others. When you fill yourself up with abundance, it flows out to those around you. Appreciating where you need to be in life, and yes embracing the struggles you have, can lead to deeper compassion for others.
Ultimately self-love points you to an outward expression of your inner light because when you tend after your soul, you light the way for others.
For me loving someone is when you genuinely care about their well-being, and thus consider their happiness to be an important thing. You treat them well, even when they don't 'deserve' it because you want the best for them. You are honest with them, even if it may hurt their ego a bit, because you want to see them push pass the difficulties they are facing to really thrive. It is not selfish, it is not seasonal and it is not conditional.
Even as I say this, I know that no one can truly love another person unconditionally. As humans we are innately flawed, sinful and fickle; we can't always put other people's wants or even their needs ahead of ourselves all the time. Frictions in relationships if left untended can lead to resentment and bitterness which can easily cloud out love.
I believe much of these same principles apply when you look at Self-love. Much of our life is lived to please ourselves. Even when we do things for other people, we often have a motive that is rooted in our own sense of duty, need for fulfillment or wish to engender a feeling of gratitude in others.
The idea that people lack self-love because they feel like they spent their life living for other people is a false narrative. In many cases, the persons were trading in social currency of a different sort. That feeling of being needed or essential in the lives of our family and friends was more important to them at the time than having an honest relationship with self.
Self-love is not just wanting to do what you want. It is realizing that often we get caught up in the short term future, and forget to tend to the now and the long term future. Taking time to assess how our body is feeling, and taking care of our health whether spiritually, physically or mentally is the foundation of expressing love to yourself.
When you take time to assess how your are doing, you may realize that what you thought you wanted is not what you truly need to do. Just breathing, meditating and praying can slow you down enough that you can clearly see that your current trajectory is out of alignment with your inner compass.
Loving yourself is not selfish because human beings need genuine relationships with other people to thrive. I find that when you are taking care of yourself, that you can better take care of others. When you fill yourself up with abundance, it flows out to those around you. Appreciating where you need to be in life, and yes embracing the struggles you have, can lead to deeper compassion for others.
Ultimately self-love points you to an outward expression of your inner light because when you tend after your soul, you light the way for others.
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