30 Days of November, Day 5: Of Faith

Faith is a concept in human existence that usually is conflated with hope and belief. For me being raised in a Christian home, in a decidedly Christian nation, there isn't an open question as to whether or not God himself exists and that you owe allegiance to Him.

There are several problems however with being grandfathered into a faith in which the main push is to present an outward face to the world of moral, just behavior. For me especially, this was hard to reconcile with the obvious evil and wickedness in the actions and words of people in my family and community, who otherwise professed to be highly religious. This contrast did little to help my opinion of Christianity itself, even though that was not a fair comparison.

Despite this in my life when I was faced with turmoil and uncertainty, I would turn my heart upwards for comfort and guidance. This never left me; I always had the feeling that there was someone listening to my sorrow who cared for me, and even if they didn't fix it, that I was not alone.

As I got older, I started to add knowledge to my feeling and my mental turmoils switched to different worries brought about by the stark realities that the Bible presents. The truths in it are indeed hard, (John 6:60), and it made me question a lot of the current day doctrines that seem to gloss over these things and instead focus on the parts of the Bible that are more marketable or in the other extreme preach open hate from the pulpit.

It took a long time for knowledge to morph into a faith based not just in a feeling born from a desperate situation but the ability to recognize that my need of a relationship with God was constant. My life has been enriched beyond measure by this, and I have also finally found a Church that teaches the harder truths and the joyful realities.

When I look around the world, I realize that for everyone, life is difficult. None of us, in and of ourselves has the formula to create lives free of turmoil. Pain, suffering and death are part of the deal, but also joy, love and laughter.

The biggest gift that God has given me is the assurance that nothing is forever, that I should live my life looking forward and not glancing backwards to fret over the past. Nor should I gaze ahead with undue worry, at things that are not within my power to change.

To love others, and to be kind and humble. Good things which I know I can never do perfectly but that I can aspire to each day, putting faith in the fact that God is working in me to change my heart to one that the soft instead of hard (Eze. 30:36).

I wish you all a blessed Sunday and a great week ahead. May all of the things you put your hands to bear good fruit.

God will help her when the morning dawns -Ps. 46:5