30 Days of November, Day 2: Of Running

I have never been someone for whom regular exercise seemed to be attainable. I struggled with periods of long inactivity broken with periods of vigorous effort that gave me short term results. These results would vanish as soon as the burst of enthusiasm fizzled out and I was once again back at square one.

I have never been very overweight but I was a victim of a low self image. This lead to a feeling of being trapped in a body that no longer felt like my own when I was at my heaviest. Even when I got my weight down a bit from there, I still looked at myself in the mirror and longed for my previous body shape.

I must admit that my depression didn't help this situation in the slightest. It compounded an already unhappy situation by making it feel somewhat hopeless. I also had to deal with the dissenting voices of Joe and Jane Public, who all wanted me to increase my weight. This is in some ways a very cultural thing here in the Caribbean but it had the effect of making me feel guilty about wanting to lose weight.

It was compounded by members of the other sex, to whom I may have been a person of interest, being quite vocal about how they believed I should look. Even my then partner made constant references to me joining the gym and bulking up.

I longed to be loved as I was, and as I wanted to be, without the constant feeling of needing to change in a way I did not want to, in order to maintain the affections of another.

"By the grace of God, I am what I am." - 1 Cor. 25: 10

Bouncing between knowing I needed to love myself as I was, but still feeling like I wanted to lose weight left me in limbo. I finally settled the issue after two and a half months of sick leave due to back pain. Being sick for so long brought me back to basics; I knew I needed to work with my body to improve it and not against it.

The diagnosis was arthritis and the doctor informed me that the bones in question were the ones that bear my weight when I am sitting and the less I weighed (with-in reason of course) the better for me.

The BMI though flawed according many experts, was where I decided to turn for an indication of what a healthy weight would be for me. I didn't think for a moment that I could go back to weighing 120 pounds like I did when I was 19 and last felt like 'myself', but overall I knew I was unfit, and that weight was only one factor in that.

This leads us to the tag line of this post.

I started with swimming which was a bit difficult to maintain because it was the hurricane season and this made the sea periodically too rough to swim or the day too rainy to brave going to the beach.

Picture of yours truly snorkeling over ship wrecks last month.

Then one day I hit on the idea of running. It grew quickly into action and I strapped on my sneakers and went outside of my house to run up and down the gap.

I lasted about 5 mins before I felt completely exhausted but I had done it. This soon morphed into another form of exercise based right inside of my house. It started when the rain was falling and I could not brave the outdoors and so I turned to jogging up and down the corridor of the house. Ultimately this would become my main exercise because the impact on my body from running on the wood floor covered by linoleum was much less than that of the concrete road. In the grander scheme of my overall health, this was better for my back.

The phycological effects far outstrip the physical ones. I am not saying that I am not pleased that the weight is coming off, but that is secondary to the happiness I derive from sticking to my exercise plan.

I enjoy running. It takes me out of my element and challenges me just enough to keep it interesting. I can already feel myself having more energy. Just the other day I jogged up the steps of the control tower which would have been impossible just a few weeks ago.

I am extremely grateful to God for the clarity of mind that is allowing me to keep up with this habit when before maintaining a prolonged plan was never sustainable. It is fascinating to build towards an over all routine of exercise that will hopefully keep me mobile for longer than being sedentary would.

I did my research and I now do bodyweight exercises prior to the running and I use a brisk walk to cool down afterwards. Following that I do some stretching to hopefully keep me from developing any injuries.

I don't look quite so tortured I hope!

My ideal exercise plan:

5 mins of Bodyweight Exercises
1 mile run. Pace: 12 minutes per mile
1 mile of mod/brisk walking. Pace 18-20 minutes per mile
5 minutes of stretching

I am looking forward to increasing my speed so that my average mile takes less time, and also to being able to increase my time doing body-weight exercises and stretching. This initiative is complemented by meal-planning as well but I will leave that for another post save to say that exercise is only one part of being healthy. What you fuel your body with has an even greater impact than exercising in my opinion!

Finally, I can proudly state that I am someone who runs and it makes me feel more fulfilled than I ever imagined.

"Running teaches you that you are capable of more than you ever imagined" PattiSue Plumer
Picture I took of Lake Superior Coastline

What hobbies or habits do you have that help your life feel more balanced? Tell me about it in the comments.