Wednesday, March 7, 2012

le Socken




It is sobering and simultaneously tiresome to try to craft something new. It can be ever the more draining if you have given yourself the added pressure of a deadline and a recipient who is forewarned and thus expectant.

I do these things to myself all of the time, bring what should be a work of soul-joy down to the burden of churning out a work in the time that others expect. Even though my vision is often skewed and over-zealous, I carry one to the bitter end. I am not always victorious but when I am it is an empty, fleeting joy.

Skulking from one project to the next while hoping that the gift was well-loved and received with an apprehension akin to awaiting an exam result, doesn't leave me with an positive benefits. Indeed all  I see is the next project again looming over my head.

To speak of these things without moving to change them is whining and I know it. However, just for a now, I'll  live and let live; even if it means embracing my lack of confidence more as par for the course, than as the next thing I need to change.

I'm darkly inspired tonight and not for the first time this year I weigh my words carefully and try to speak as honestly as I can. Technology has become a bane to the art of word-smithing and I now put more thought behind what I type-speak.

"Goodnight world." she whispered from a corner of the Caribbean, oddly confident that though few would listen, billions could hear.

1 comment:

  1. Once it becomes a chore then the effort is no longer worth it. There's a difference between sticking to the bitter end because the project is challenging and or worth it as opposed to sticking to the end because you feel guilty at not finishing.

    IMO, crafting despite challenges is supposed to be soothing, not dark.

    As for gifting ... we talked about this here before. There's no accounting for people's reaction to your gift and effort so don't beat yourself up. The lack of enthusiasm at a handmade gift doesn't negate the thought and effort put into it. Be confident in that.

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