Let me begin by saying that I am not a social person but there is nothing I like more than gifting people things. Yarn swapping has started to become a part of my life that I hope will always be there. An excuse to be generous; a way to expand my knitting horizons, a place to meet new people and to refine my shopping prowess.
It isn't always easy to decide what to buy or how much. I inevitably go over the amount that was agreed upon and the more practical side of me constantly warns that it isn't such a smart idea. However, I do what I feel to do. I want my swap partner to feel good when they get packages from me.
But most importantly, I want them to feel respected. I can't send love for them in a package but I can send love for the craft in a package and hopefully pay such close attention to the little but crucial information that they provide about themselves that they feel cherished.
I have done two swaps for the last two months and the packages I have received in return are still at my mail handlers. Life is stopping me from going to get them but hopefully that all changes soon. I can see that it won't always be respect or love that comes back because the world isn't like that. But if I do get that, then I'll feel even more buoyed and invigorated for the next round.
Another thing I have been thinking of is Christmas gifts; an excuse to give my blog-mates gifts without seeming forward! I'll send out some feelers and see what response I get but I am hopeful that they don't mind. You can't keep coming to my blog without me eventually wanting to give you many things, so you have been duly warned.
As my vacation to America, which includes Miami, New York and Philadelphia draws ever nearer, I have tentatively started to put together list. I want to finish kitting myself out for knitting and get a good camera for cloud/landscape photography.
Of course I'll be buying clothing and packing a barrel full of food stuffs and gifts but that feels secondary to the other two. And it makes sense, I love to cook yes - but knitting and photography make me happy. And in life, I need to hold on to those things.
Writing, especially typing on Anne, is also very important to me and so I hope to buy a lot more typewriter paper and cartridges in the near future and complete my touch typing self-course. I want to put my thoughts out on paper, even if I don't share them with the world.
Somewhere in the distance, in the vague unknown - off in the fog where the mountains reach high and the trees are older than time; a pipe dream, a wish to make a living from that which makes me happy, winds it way around a stray thought like a vine on a stake. But I don't nurture it, less it grows thorns and pricks my balloon and pops it. I'll let it grow slowly on its own, maybe it will flower or it won't but in the mean time... I'll be wrestling with my budget and making sure than money isn't ever going to hold me back.
I'll take what I have and make it work. And what I don't have, I'll live without. And what I do get I'll be grateful, and what I wish I had, I'll keep safe in that corner of my mind with crisp breeze and wide fields and mountains scraping cloudy skies.
I feel sick today, disappointed and a little hurt. However, I met a neon-green and purple internet friend and I like her vibe. I hope we can connect and be friends. I read about fishing and cheered on a family competition, was glad that sisters spend time together through skype and organized my next set of swap gifts. A high five and a few sniffles... not bad, not bad at all.