I recently started a project for a co-worker of mine and during a fitting she declared that she did not care for the colors. She said, that she prefers loud colors and what I had chosen was not to her liking.
Now the disappointment I felt was immense and I instantly started thinking as to what I could do instead; this co-worker had brought me some yarn, not paid for it just ferried from America to our island home and I wanted to repay her.
Here I was racking my brain as to what yarn I had in my stash to meet her color requirements. Then reality dawned: I had shown her this yarn before I started and she treated the prospect of having something knit for her with the yarn with excitement... now all of sudden?
A coldness crept over me. I am by nature a very generous person. I love to make things for people and that is all the payment I feel I need.
It is ironic that after changing the name of my blog and making peace with my loving, gifting nature I would be faced with such contrary disregard for my efforts.
It is also ironic that faced with a deadline of Aug 23rd, that I would have to ditch my one project at a time rule to try to make up a shawl in 'loud' colors for this woman. I thought about it, but I changed my mind. Irreverently, my mind screamed "Hell no,".
I would finish my bolero as I planned, and then if it was not yet the 23rd, she would get her shawl/shawlette. If it was past due, too bad. I had done the best I could and I simply was not going to bend. I'm trying to recapture my good spirit about it, but it simply isn't easy.
I'm hurt, upset and angry but I'm trying to take it one day at a time.